Heavy, weighed down
Walking through air that seems like jell-o
The din of thoughts engulfs me…like a flock of cackling crows
Circling constantly overhead…
Except that I would have welcomed the sound.
Actions seem suspended
Words seem distant, dark, there but not really.
Attempted conversations from faceless people
Break against lead with the futility of waves…
Am I the shore reeling under the tide of feeling?
Or am I just driftwood trying to find a shore…

The future would be so bright if not for these colored glasses…
Today would be the sun, if only the night of yesterday would end.
Right now I should be walking barefoot in the Garden of Eden…
then why do I remember each stalk of grass broken, bug squashed or dew drop destroyed?
Right now I should be absolved…angels should lift me to ether,
as I look down in victory at the destruction below me.
Then, why O Lord – have you forged my wings with lead?

Why O Lord have you forged my wings with lead?