This is a review for Jhoom Barabar Jhoom.

It has got an awesome storyline. Here is how it goes…Boy (AB Jr.) meets girl (Ms. Spicejet) at Waterloo station (no less) – both waiting for someone to arrive. Both (for the sneakiest reasons ever) concoct long winding stories about fictional beaus – for whom they are apparently waiting. After the two hour long wait – they realize that they have found their soulmate in one another…but hang on…both think the other is hitched. How bitched. So they decide to meet the competition at a (how convenient) dance competition – and evaluate for themselves. Of course neither has a beau…so they request a foul-mouthed prostitute (Lara Dutta) and “mamma’s boy” spectacle salesman (Booby Deol…sorry Bobby Deol) to enact the part of their non-existent beaus. Then something amazing happens…foul-mouthed prostitute bangs spectacle salesman for free – apparently that is a sign of love. And boy and girl realize that they just got screwed over by each other. And then…. hang on…. that’s the movie. Yes. The end. Of course one is amazed at the futility of it all, angry that one was subjected to such nonsense…and relieved that the torture was over. So futility, anger and relief become Furiosity.

I know there is no word like “furiosity”…but at the same time I could not resort to my existing repertoire of words to describe the sheer…. furiosity …. i felt after I spent 3 hours of my time watching Jhoom Barabar Jhoom. Preity Zinta and Abhishek Bachchan are talented actors. Then why did they waste their time for such a venture? Even more so for AB Sr. and Shaad Ali (who displayed some class in Sathiya – even though it was copied).

I will tell you why they wasted their time. Southhall. If every Sardar worth his turban in Southhall (London) pays 15 pounds and watches this movie…the producers would have made their money. The movie is for them…and them only. Half the time the characters are either speaking “London Ghetto” or punjabi.

AB Sr. had whole of 60 seconds in the movie… and was also responsible for the only part that made sense. At the end he came on screen and laughed out loud and long, looking at the audience – for no apparent reason. But there is a reason… everyone who is foolish enough to spend money and time on this movie deserves to be laughed at.

Atleast he got paid for it. The last laugh my friends was on me.