Trappings

Tags

spirituality, Success

I recently met a friend of mine after ages. Since we last met, both of us had moved on to different planes…with he having moved up a couple of notches. I was (am) very happy for him. And because I am a firm believer in Karma – I believe he deserves the success. So I was excited to meet him and congratulate on his success. But on meeting him, excitement turned to disappointment.

This friend of mine, lets call him Jack, is quite the superstar. He is very intelligent and supremely sharp. He has this uncanny ability to waltz into a complex situation, and emerge with a creative solution. This earned him a solid reputation in his organization and he moved up the corporate ladder quickly. In a world full of huge egos, he gained the respect of his peers, trust of his seniors and the admiration of his subordinates. He was a fair leader and for all the latent super-stardom, was extremely down to earth and carried no air around him. He was not overtly social, but never got into unnecessary conflicts – always being civil. But what is his biggest strength was to work silently and patiently towards a distant objective and plan ten steps ahead like a Grandmaster. He is like a stealth bomber, staying invisible under the radar and achieving his objectives – no matter what. Such people do well in a quasi-meritocracy – and sure enough he did.

His most recent jump, was his greatest coup of all. He deftly turned failures into successes, negatives into positives and moved into a position of higher power and higher responsibility – at a speed that astounded most. But when I heard about this elevation – I was just pleasantly surprised, as one is when one’s flight lands 10 mins before time. It was about that time when I started hearing tales of how Jack had changed. It was no longer very easy to like him anymore. Common friends started saying things like, “It has gotten into his head…”. I refused to believe it. Success always has its detractors.

Then I met him. I immediately detected an alteration in attitude and altitude. And my subsequent conversations confirmed that there indeed had been a change. He was in a different league now. Probably in a league where he was no longer concerned whether people liked him or not. But most of all – I felt a distance. A distance one feels in a relationship when the other person starts living in his/her head. It left me a bit disillusioned. A bit unhappy.

As they say, it gets lonelier near the top. It doesn’t have to be like that. I think it becomes more important to become more open towards others, as others can benefit from your experience and your success. I think that respect for a “position” does not come from the nomenclature assigned to that position but from the fact that one is able to help more, spread more good, more knowledge and give back more to one’s ecosystem.

In my experience, I have often observed (from a level much lower of course) that people view success as a right, and forget to be humble about it. I have found myself falling into that trap as well. It is so easy to get used to “above” the rest. Some people start jealously guarding their seat of power, wrongly adopting force as a strategy to manifest that power. Or rather, they work towards creating an aura of power, to ensure that it sustains. Some people think that it is necessary to show power to have it. (Dubya anyone?) I think, what that does is that it perpetrates a “self-created” illusion. One that is conveniently created to protect and to preserve the power. And that it does, until it all comes crashing down. Because, that is way of the universe. Well, I hope this doesn’t happen to Jack – because I still quite like the real him – but it would be easy for him to head that way.

Greatness and power lies in sharing. More importantly, success lies in learning. The old adage – the more you give, the more you get – really works here. I am an avid reader of the Dalai Lama – and he talks about how he learns from every person he meets, no matter how young or how old. He says that over time he has learnt to speak less and listen more. And this from a humble Nobel Laureate who provides hope and spiritual happiness to millions.

There is so much I don’t know, there is so much I can’t do. How can I be “great”? How can I have the right to “order around” other people – when all I know is subject to change? How can I expect that what I think, is correct…and is the single truth to be followed by all those under me… when the truth is still unfolding every moment, in front of my eyes?

I really admire Jack, for his talent and for his beautiful mind. There is no measurable parameter of success that he cannot achieve in his life. I just hope he doesn’t lose sight of his true self and isolate himself. I hope he shares his success, his learning.

I hope he continues to listen and to learn.

Snappy Diwali

Is it only me, or did Deepavali 2009 resemble an imitation firecracker stored in a damp warehouse for two years?

As this year’s celebrations fizzled to an end with a feeble pop, even the typically ostentatious leanings of the high net worth residents of Hiranandani gardens in Powai seemed to be whittled down to a fraction of their former self. And I thought the recession was over.

When we went down at around eight in the evening with our contribution to the diwali spectacle (two packets of sparklers, one of anaars and one of chakras) – we were greeted with silence. For heaven’s sake, just the traffic on the streets on a normal day would create more light and sound that what we were seeing! Where was everyone? As we roamed around the complex, searching in vain for some signs of good old hindu excess, I felt a smog of change descending upon us. Maybe, urban educated Indians were finally realizing what has been amply clear to me since a decade - that burning money in the form of fireworks is a vulgar display of wealth in a predominantly poor country. (Some of those fancy rockets cost more than Rs.5000 a piece!) Not to mention, they pollute an already terminally ill environment and scare dogs and babies. When the celebrations finally limped to a start post 9PM, it lasted for not more than 90 minutes – during which we decided to have a traditional Deepavali feast at Pizza Hut (?!). And yes, the place was full of good traditional hindu families gorging on America’s produce.

So does this mean that Indians have forgotten what it means to enjoy Lord Ram’s return? Does this mean that (reducing to a whisper) God is dead?

Or maybe the usually smart Indians are realizing that the celebrations do not a festival make. Maybe festivals are for friends, family and relatives to come together for spiritual harmony. Maybe the rituals of these festivals are meant to be unpronounced and even personal. Maybe the Diyas of Deepavali are meant to be markers on a path to higher self-realization, community spirit without excess and the greater common good. Maybe the Mono-Sodium Glutamate in the pizza I had last night is playing tricks with my head and rendered me cuckoo.

Well, whatever it may be, the change was pleasant. The morning after Deepavali, which is usually marked with the truimphant return of leftover fireworks, was more or less quiet. The birds were chirping, dogs were pooping and senior citizens where back on their morning walks amongst scattered debris of exploded cracker shells. Looking back at Deepavali 2009 – I hope this change is here to stay. Because we all have now seen times where economic progress has been humbled by the very thing responsible for it – greed and excess. Maybe, we all can light a candle to the fact that a Snappy Diwali is indeed a Happy Diwali.

Seasons Greetings to all Grimescene readers!

(Updated – 21/9 – I have now heard enough reports that mine was an outlier experience. More than Rs.1.8 crore of money was burnt in Mumbai itself – a quarter of the national total. Sigh. MSG can play tricks.)

Birdsong

Tags

Letter, Love

Dear Loved One,

i am writing this because I can sense you are unhappy. If I was Deepak Chopra, I would have probably written a book for you, which would guide you to your “inner spiritual well” or something like that. But as I am poor working professional, a letter is all I can spare.

You are a special and rare person in many ways. You have tried very hard to live life beyond its boundaries, like a bird which enjoys every second its time in the sky and wants to drink the nectar from every flower, dull or colorful, and wants to sing its song in every orchard, ripe or barren. Humans, owing to the fact that they aren’t birds, are not built out-of-the-box to do that. Only special and rare humans, like you, can live the life of birds and launch themselves in flight, weightless and free.

But, my loved one, I see that flight has stopped being second nature to you. And it hurts me.

Maybe, every human-bird, has to eventually give in to the inadequacies of the human form. Maybe, you fought too hard against the winds, dust and debris and you are tired. Maybe, the world has coerced and manipulated you into believing that you are earth-bound like the rest of us, and now, surrounded by the faux-comfort of fellow humans – you are afraid to fly again. When in reality you are different from the rest of us. You are rare in that your words and actions spring forth, unencumbered by human selfishness, like a birdsong which spreads joy and forgiveness. You are special in that your desires are small and simple – you want to fly and you want to keep singing your songs.

This is what I love in you. I have always believed that you have spiritual clarity – way more than I can ever imagine of possessing. So why are you lost in the mire of dos and don’ts, rules and dogmas – when such man-made cages cannot hope to ever imprison your birdsong? Why are  you afraid to give things up – when these things were never really ours to own? Why are you afraid of losing your cage, when in truth, you had flown from it, a long time ago? Why are you afraid to leave the ground, when all you have ever wanted in your life, is to breathe the open air of the skies?

If I am an object of your desires and a recipient of your love, I am very fortunate for that. But, if you think this love will give you wings to fly again, you may be mistaken. Because I cannot give you something you already possess. I cannot put the song back on your lips, because the tune has always been in you. And it is because the birdsong is silent and unheard, that the cage around you is starker than ever and the sky is darker than ever.

I need you to fly again. Not because you need to escape the cage but because you need to find the bird within you again. Because the world is a more beautiful place because of your song. All I will do is protect you and shelter you from the human world. Once you discover your flight, my loved one, you will discover that cages have no place in your world, and all the humans who love you and cherish you, will look up to you in awe and admiration. Because that’s when your true beauty will shine and your true happiness will manifest. Like a Birdsong from the skies.

Yours Always

A.

The truth about prayer

Tags

Children, Parenting, spirituality

One evening, on returning home from work, I saw Dhruv with a “teeka” on his forehead. Being the kind of person who only remembers God on stubbing a toe, I was a little intrigued. So I asked him.

“Where did you get that red mark?”

Very matter of factly, and not taking his eyes off the telly, “The temple.”

“Did you go to the temple?” (Duh)

Nod.

“Who took you?”

“I went with Vallie, Shirley and Dimpu.” (Dhruv’s Au Pair, Friend and Friend’s Au Pair respectively)

“Do you go often?”

“Sometimes.”

“Do you like going there?”

Nod.

“Why?”

“I get Prasad there.” (Duh again)

Picking him up and settling him down on my knee,”What else do you do there?”

“I pray.”

“To which God?”

“All of them.” (That place is apparently has idols of most major Hindu Gods.)

“Which one is your favorite?”

Thinks. “All of them.”

“What do you Pray about?”

Silence.

“What do you ask God?”

“Nothing.”

Rephrasing the question, “Why do you pray?”

“Bus…aise hi…”

“Do you like praying?”

“Yes. “

I wish we had the spiritual clarity of kids. It seems that the more religious we become, the more Godless we are. Even a child realizes that one prays to ask nothing. That one prays to feel nice. That one prays to every and no one in particular. That the visit to the temple is but an excuse to get goodies.

But instead of furthering this clarity, we create the confusion of rituals Vs. spirituality in their young minds. We tell them, “Pray, or else…” and tell them “Today is Tuesday, we have to go to the temple…or else…” or “Today is an important exam…pray to God for good marks!”.

Don’t you think it would serve them, and the world, better, if we just let them find their own God? Isn’t it better if we encourage them to see God in our everyday actions and let them compose their own prayers? Won’t the world be a better place, when everyone stops using the power of Prayer as a crutch, but rather, as a source of inner strength and peace?

Even children know that.

Today, someone dear to me lies weak and in pain in the hospital. And I find myself looking up and praying. Not for the pain to end…but for strength to fight the pain.

Merry Christmas lost in translation

Tags

Christmas

There is something about Christmas beyond the smell of cinnamon in the air.

There is something about Christmas that does not reflect from the shiny ornaments on a tree.

There is something about Christmas which you can’t hear in the carols of joy.

There is something about Christmas which you won’t find in your stocking in the morning.

Because, my fellow merry-makers, Christmas is not just that.

It is really quite amazing how the developed non-christian world (and even parts of the Christian world) has adopted the American way of christmas as the standard way. Close your eyes, think of what christmas means to you, and 9 out of 10 people would think of a decked up tree with star on top, children huddled together in the snow singing carols under the light of a lantern, plum cake, gifts and stockings. I do, and I love it!

But at this time, it might be interesting to delve a bit deeper into what Christmas means to the world which isn’t driven by Hollywood or American commericalization. (Guess why Coke has the colors it has…;))

The common denominator for all Christmas celebrations seems to be scenes of the “nativity of Jesus” – depicting the birth of Christ in a manger. This is straight from the holy texts…and doesn’t stand for much misinterpretation. But apart from that – almost everything else is so varied…

To begin with contrary to what most of us are taught to believe – Christmas is not the “Birthday of Christ”. In fact both testaments do not have a date to the birth of Christ. In the middle ages, 25th of December was the Winter Solstice (which occurs at the instant when the Sun’s position in the sky is at its greatest angular distance on the other side of the equatorial plane from the observers hemisphere) – or the “start” of the demise of winter. According to some old texts Christ was conceived on the “Spring Equinox” which is March 25th… hence hinting at a date 9 months later. But yes, Christmas remains as the day when the birth of Jesus is honored – but has a larger context as celebration of the “nativity of Christ”.

The modern “Santa Claus” which the children of today associate as the primary symbol of Christmas is more or less a creation of 19th century media…the first imagery created by caricaturist Thomas Nast in 1855…as shown on the right. The inspiration behind Santa could be “Saint Nicholas of Myra” – a 4th century Greek Christian bishop in Turkey who was famous for his gifts to the impoverished including handsome “dowries” to the daughters of pious Christians so that they wouldn’t have to become prostitutes. The other, more congruent reference comes from the Germanic God Odin (bearing a distinct resemblance to the current Santa Claus) who traveled on a flying eight-legged horse called “Sleipnir”, came through the chimney and filed up boots left by children with gifts. This was brought to America with the first Dutch settlers in the 17th century – and slowly developed into the christmas traditions we see today. But Santa is not universal. In Northern Europe gifts are brought for children by the “Jultomte” – a house gnome which until recent times did not look anything like Santa. Today, the widely accepted imagery of Santa is being accepted here too – except that in Norway & Sweden he doesn’t come through the chimney but knocks on the front door to ask “Are there any good children here?”.

A lot of the Christmas celebrations and stories you know and see today were popularized by Charles Dickens’ seminal novella.. “A Christmas Carol” which talks about a curmudgeonly miser Ebenezer Scrooge being haunted by three spirits – The Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Yet to Come – and undergoes a transformation to become a generous and kindly man. More than 20 different interpretations have been made of this text, in songs, TV and theater… thus popularizing the modern images of Christmas that we have in our heads today. Even today television stations in many countries show an animated version of  “A Christmas Carol” on Christmas Eve, and has become a part of family tradition. But what has today become popular folklore, is seldom looked at as a study of “inequality” and “poverty” in Dicken’s times…which is why he wrote the book!

In Mexico and other Latin American countries Christmas is unrecognizable. Even being predominantly heavy catholic countries, there is no Santa Clause, Christmas Trees, Carols or Puddings – and children get their gifts on “The All-Saints Day” or the “The feast of the epiphany” which is January 6th – when the three wise men are believed to have seen Baby Jesus and given him their gifts. January 6th is considered to be a bigger day than Christmas in some countries. Of course, commercialization has brought the tree and other western imagery here also..

The Christmas tree started with an old Germanic pagan tradition of “lighting” up the longest night of the year (21st December) by putting lamps and candles on coniferous tree. Though in later ages, the church opposed the popularization of the Christmas tree because of its pagan roots – it eventually merged into mainstream tradition in Western European countries, the British Commonwealth and North America. Many countries around the world still do not have a Christmas Tree as a part of their tradition. Christians in tropical countries, including India, decorate Banana and Coconut trees due to the lack of coniferous trees!

The true giving spirit of Christmas is celebrated in the British Isles (and some other parts of the world) as “Boxing Day”, on the 26th of December…where alms boxes are placed everywhere for people to donate to the needy. Surprisingly (or not) this doesn’t have the widespread acceptance that many other flashy christmas customs have.

Christmas today is much more than just a religious celebration. In most predominantly Christian countries it is the largest Annual economic stimulus. There is a lot of money to be made piggy-backing on the the customs of Christmas. Some economists have calculated something called a “Deadweight Loss”, which is the difference between the price that a gift giver pays and what the gift receiver would have paid if he/she would have bought the gift under normal market conditions. In 2004, the deadweight loss in the US alone was $4 Billion!

I love Christmas. Yesterday we decorated our Christmas tree, put out red and green lights on the balcony and put gifts under the tree… and Dhruv was so excited. But was he excited about the gifts or the concept of Christmas – I don’t know. I believe Christianity is the largest mass movement in the history of the earth… apart from the middle ages when the perpetrators of this movement waged religious wars and killed millions – modern day christianity has brought billions of people together, under one faith. More than any other religion. But in all the razzmatazz and the hype and the money – the true spirit of christianity, the one day to commemorate the birth of this movement, is sometimes forgotten.

There is something about Christmas which is deeper than what many of us see on TV and try to emulate. It is a time for reaffirming our faith in the goodness of humanity, a time to remember joy even on the darkest and coldest winter night, a time to give to the less fortunate and most of all a time to celebrate the birth of the singularly largest and most relevant human movement of all – Jesus Christ. Make sure you teach your children not just that they will get their gifts in their stockings…but what Christmas stands for.

Merry Christmas to all Grimescene Readers. God Bless you all!

Seppuku

Tags

Japanese Suicides

What drives a person to end his or her own life?

On BBC “Reporters” last night – I was watching a special report on what has become Japan’s favorite pastime after Sumo-wrestling and Sashimi. Seppuku (Ritual Suicide). I sat there on my sofa with a spoonful of food stuck midway between the plate and my mouth, in shock, as I heard that one in five Japanese adults have seriously considered ending their lives. Ninety of them end up doing it every day. Last year there were more than 35000 suicides in Japan – the highest by far in the developed world.

Though there are many sociological theories on why a seemingly prosperous population is so prone to suicide – the fact of the matter is that ending ones life is an acceptable act in Japanese society. This is a society that hold’s honor above all else. This is a society that does not forgive a person’s failure – whether or not that person was responsible for that failure. But that does not justify seppuku. I suspect there is a deeper social malaise at play. The same kind that has driven up suicide rates in Scandinavian countries – no opportunity or will to struggle and fight. Comfort, processes and societal conformity are given so much importance – that the concept of struggling for something, or dreaming about something is more-or-less alien for these people.

How long do you think a lion cub will live if it is fed all his life – and does not have to hunt for food? There is a reason why animals which have spent a long time in captivity have listless eyes. Young people in economically developed nations such as Japan – find themselves without self-direction and hence without an identity. Without a self-purpose, without opportunities for self-actualization – where does one find a masthead to hold on to, during tough times? It is clear that the battles in life which matter are the ones you fight inside your head… not the ones you fight outside.

I am not suggesting that everyone must be made to struggle and that our poor farmers in Vidharba have it good… What I am suggesting is that competition is healthy for a society – as it is for a market. As an Indian I know and recognize the value of always being on the top of my game. I know that I will be a better person – because I have to fight 10000 others to secure my seat in college. It gives me self confidence – and a base of self-purpose and self-fulfillment that carries me through tough times.

We all have felt desperate or devastated at some point in our lives. Atleast I know I have. But every such episode strengthened me. I always realized that I was bigger and stronger than the situation. No matter what happens externally, or no matter who does what to me – nothing can touch my soul – because that is mine.

I realize that the sun rises every morning for me to see and bask in. I realize that no matter how small, my contribution, my sweat adds to the salt of the earth. My being alive is necessary for the world to go round. And when my journey ends – it will be because I would have paid my dues and imparted my contribution to the world, and to society. If you are Japanese (or anyone contemplating ending it all) and you are reading this – think about it. You are here – as I am – for a reason. It is ok if you do not know what that reason is – that’s why you undertake this journey called life. It will always be worth it, in the end.

Quit Seppuku…go have a Sake! Cheers!

What is it about children?

What is it about Children that brings the best in you?

That makes you behave in ways that you wouldn’t normally embrace?

Is it the way they look at you with no hint of malice in their eyes?

Is it the way they don’t judge you by your actions?

Can it be because for you they represent everything that is pure in this world?

Maybe because even their little lies are sincere and are meant to give you no harm?

Or is it the way their desires from you are so simple – and their affections for you unrelated to their fulfilment?

Could it be because they never offload the troubles of a long hard day on you?

Or the way they forget and forgive at the drop of a kiss?

Perhaps you love the way they wonder and delight at every small pleasure that life has to offer…and feel no less happy if those pleasures are not there?

Could it be because they are the closest you will ever get to God?

Or maybe, it is because deep in your heart you wish you were more like them…

The curse of oneness…

Am in an introspective mood.

Sure…I always think a lot (in fact it’s my favorite hobby – apart from writing), and most of my thoughts are disjointed, each one a homogenous entity in it’s own. Each thought spawns micro-thoughts like the tentacles of a medusa… and each tentacle forms a head and tentacles of its own. Sounds like a muddle? Actually – I have trained my mind to somehow categorize these thoughts (unconsciously) and when a critical mass of thoughts is reached – I feel heavy with distilled realization. That’s when I get into an introspective mood.

I have been feeling heavy since the past two weeks. And before I burst and IT services has the unsavory job of scraping my innards of the laptop screen – I thought let me purge some of that heaviness onto the blog. This is not going to be like my usual entries…

I have been thinking about people. One would imagine that 30 years of life would have provided me with opportunity to meet several human beings – and so I have. Most of them bounce of the peripheri of my consciousness… some of them manage to enter but very few have managed to make their way to the core. I am not a difficult person to be with or befriend (I think) – but somehow most people who do enter my consciousness, fail at some point or the other to display action or intent in line with my expectations. You would say, “Ha…it’s your fault then! You have high expectations!”

Maybe.

But my expectations from others are not even half as high as those I have from myself. As I have grew older, smelt the sweet and tasted the acrid, enjoyed the rapture of true love and suffered the lacerations of selfishness and malice – I started wondering if we were all sent to this world by God to be alone… After all – barring romantic tales of the Bard – we all die alone. Even if we do find people who penetrate our ever-thickening consciousness – they never become one with us. They remain seperate entities – satellites with their own orbits, center-of-gravities and propulsion systems. But every love story or friendship – especially the ones which begin intensely – throw illusions of a oneness. A oneness that makes us feel lighter – makes us feel as if finally we have found company for our long and arduous journey towards our eventual end.

But in my experience – oneness is just that – an illusion. A mirage that helps you along on your journey towards dust. And this made me feel as if all people in this world are selfish. And life is a curse with I have to bear alone. Friends are for the moment and later are relegated to words appearing and disappearing in a chat box. Lovers satisfy immediate needs before failing on every other count.

Then – the typical critic that I am of my thoughts – I decided that this view has to be all wrong. These feelings of contempt that I have for other people cannot be right – because we are all children of the same god. If I have contempt for others – I should have contempt for myself. And that is something I don’t have… So decided to take God’s view of things.

I closed my eyes and sat 50,000 feet above the ground on a cumulonimbus seat – and looked down at all those various human beings for whom I had contempt. They were all scurrying around like little mice in a huge mousetrap – trying to “steal” a little cheese, bumping into other mice, trying to make the best of what they have. All the mice just wanted to survive and not get stuck and killed in the trap. What’s wrong with that?

I still don’t have any answers – but I know that today as a society we are not inclined towards oneness – and the oneness that can be achieved is in ourselves. People get unhappy by seemingly unkind actions of others – but most of the time the person responsible for the unkind action is just trying make the best of what he/she has. Maybe the right approach is not to search for happiness in the actions and opinions of others. If someone has entered your consciousness and has the power to induce rapture – don’t expect he/she will not use the power to induce pain. Accept the sour with the sweet. But remember – that your soul is just yours… untouchable by anyone except whatever you think God is.

I want to take the journey from outward contempt to inward love to outward love. Love that encapsulates both rapture and pain. Love that is ingrained deep in my soul and does not depend on the actions of others or incidents. Love that can heal any wound that will eventually become love that will eliminate the concept of wounds. Love that will draw on every kind action and every healing word that I have been lucky to be on the receiving end of. Love that draws from the passion that I felt in my relationships and the beauty of sacrifices that my lovers have made for me. Love that mirrors the undying hope in my parents’ eyes and the unabashed affection in my son’s.

That is the love that I want to find. In me. And I also know where the map to that love lies. In me. I want to reach a plane of existence where physical life just becomes a manifestation of the love inside me…and does not depend on the relativity of relationships or people.

I feel better now. Lighter. God bless Web 2.0. Have a great day!