… to all who showed concern. And to those who didn’t. Because my “problems” are insignificant compared to whatever is keeping you awake at night these days. 
So the fact that my last post is now one of the top read posts on the blog, throws light either on the voyeuristic tendencies of most blog visitors or on the fact that there are people with good in their hearts out there. I would prefer to believe the latter.
All said and done – it is time to move on. A play review is coming along soon…
Yesterday I picked up something special. A special Vintage edition of Joseph Heller’s Catch-22. Fans of the book would agree with me that there hasn’t been a book written like Catch-22, ever. Apart from being funny as hell, the mastery which Heller holds over dialogues between Yossarian and the others in his doomed battalion, is a study in squeezing every bit out of the semantic framework of the english language. The novel is full of spoken renditions of perpetual motion – where the answer to a question leads back to the question itself – hence leading the conversation in a theoretical infinite loop. Much like the iconic title of the book which signifies the absense of real choice among the offered alternatives.
I call this the Semantic Loop and there are two varieties – one based on the how words with different meaning sound similar. The simplest one would be:
Man 1: “What’s your name?”
Man 2: “Watt”
Man 1: “What’s your name?”
Here the dialogue is independent of how it is written, and is based on how it sounds when spoken. For eg. “What” and “Watt” sound the same, even if they are written differently. The second kind of semantic loops which Heller uses to side-splitting results are based on logical anomalies. Another one from Catch-22:
Yossarian: “Appleby, you have flies in your eyes.”
Appleby: “What? I can’t see them.”
Yossarian: “Appleby, you have flies in your eyes. That’s why you cannot see them!”
In this dialogue, Appleby can never deny the hypothesis that he has flies in his eyes – because the confirmation of the hypothesis is dependent on the hypothesis itself. Confusing… you should read Catch-22 to know what confusing is!
The best writers of comedy have achieved some kind of mastery on creating these loops, some of them lasting over several lines of dialogue. It is not easy… and you should give it a try yourself.
Here is another example:
Man: “Doctor am I crazy?”
Doctor: “Do you think you are crazy?”
Man: “I am.”
Doctor: “How can I believe you if you are crazy?”
or in the case of Catch-22
Doctor: “Obviously you are sane enough to know you are crazy, hence you are not.”
Try your hand on some semantic loops… great way to spend a lazy afternoon.
It has been a while since my last post.
After the parental high I found myself in due to the events described in my previous post, it was difficult to find much else, which would merit regaling my readers with excruciating prose. (basically, i couldn’t figure out what to write.)
Not that nothing has happened since then. Au contraire… the earth has been spinning faster than ever. Rahman got a Golden Globe and a few Oscar nominations. I saw (and heard) Slumdog, and came out wondering what the hype was all about. I did my bit for “the Mumbai spirit” by participating in the marathon – and didn’t kill myself in the process – leading me to re-assess the state of my health and lifestyle. Post Satyam-Maytas, spent a day researching the internet for shady undertakings with names similar to or mirror images of the name of my employer – and came out confident that our founder could not gain much by apportioning funds to a manufacturer of conveyer belts in Dakar, Senegal. Flew to Delhi for a performance review, with numbers reflecting the health of the world’s economy, yet came out unscathed (and surprisingly motivated). Crooned “Groovy Kind of Love” at the post review party in a dungeon-like karaoke bar and was as good as a corny love song sung in a third-world accent could be. Saw Obama bungling his oath and then making up by guiding the winsome Michelle gracefully through the various balls and then by making good some of the promises he had made to the world – in quick no-nonsense style.
So much has happened…then why is my sixth-sense tingling like a rattlesnake in a mongoose hole?
I thought about it. I looked at all the happenings around me – did a quick scan of Google news and my RSS feeds – hoping to find a pattern which had rattled my premonitive senses. Nah…more of the usual stuff…nothing foreboding here. Then as many a willful enterprise has done in times of uncertainty – I adopted the McKinsey method.
List. Distill. Abstract. Analyze. (from the McKinsey method for dummies)
So – I took my place along with Kranga-doo and Dr.Doo-little on their celestial ship and tried to “abstract” from the apparently harmless melee’ below.
I saw that people were still partying and spending hundreds of millions on a presidential party, despite job-losses across industries, like we have never seen before…with even companies like Microsoft cutting down. (and these guys are sitting on TONNES of cash) I saw Israel still killing children in Palestine – with the world doing nothing to stop them. I saw people forgetting about Darfur – where the battle still rages, and is a contender for the title of “genocide”. I saw property prices in cities still beyond the reach of the common man – relegating him to long commutes on choked streets, breathing more noxious fumes than a chain-smoker – yet not stopping millions like him from flooding into what is fast-becoming urban squalor. I saw the baby-counter ticking faster than ever in places which really do not need more babies. I saw no one talking about sustainability. I saw the news of an Arctic shelf of the size of Texas breaking off, pushed to the gutter-space on the 12th page in the newspaper. I saw virtual silence from the house of the islamic fundamentalists – and people around the world (mis)construing this silence as inaction. I saw China still denying basic human rights in Tibet, while editing parts of Obama’s speech for consumption by its people – with the world standing by and watching.
It was then I realized the source of the sense of foreboding that had penetrated deep under my skin. Suspended animation. It was as if, humanity, you-me-your neighbour-beyonce-bin laden, everyone, has fallen into their ant-like, pre-determined, action sequences. Britney Spears will go to rehab once again. Mugabe will spit at the rest of the world once again. The world leaders will offer mutual pats on the back to one another at the World Economic Forum once again. The Somalian pirates will pillage once again. The UN will come out with a downright scary report on the growing ozone hole once again. Champions of industry will be caught stealing from their own backyard once again.
We are like 6 billion pendulums powering a ticking time-bomb. Pre-conceived, genetically programmed paths with a fixed amplitude… tick-tock from birth to death.
Does the sense of foreboding I feel – and I suspect many of you do too (if you are intuitive enough to feel it) – arise from a sense of being a pendulum? Does it arise from being a part of a clock-machinery which has long since stopped working?
As I stared down at the stasis below – I realized it is not that, what has flooded my senses with a cocktail mix of adrenaline and novocaine. No… it is something far scarier than that. It is the sense of the train of consequences hurtling down towards us – while we sleep in ignorance. It is the sense of a dam about to break from its shaky foundations – while we try to fix individual cracks with superglue. It is the feeling of a young man, who has neglected and tormented his furious-paced life, not knowing that there is a 98% chance of a cardiac arrest in the next few weeks…
The sense of foreboding, my readers, is there. I can feel it. Maybe only I feel it. But – do what I did. Step back and look at the world and all its events as one whole. You might feel what I feel. You might realize that all that obsession over those little things in life which go wrong or right, was just wasted time.
Amen.
There is something about Christmas beyond the smell of cinnamon in the air.
There is something about Christmas that does not reflect from the shiny ornaments on a tree.
There is something about Christmas which you can’t hear in the carols of joy.
There is something about Christmas which you won’t find in your stocking in the morning.
Because, my fellow merry-makers, Christmas is not just that.
It is really quite amazing how the developed non-christian world (and even parts of the Christian world) has adopted the American way of christmas as the standard way. Close your eyes, think of what christmas means to you, and 9 out of 10 people would think of a decked up tree with star on top, children huddled together in the snow singing carols under the light of a lantern, plum cake, gifts and stockings. I do, and I love it!
But at this time, it might be interesting to delve a bit deeper into what Christmas means to the world which isn’t driven by Hollywood or American commericalization. (Guess why Coke has the colors it has…;))
The common denominator for all Christmas celebrations seems to be scenes of the “nativity of Jesus” – depicting the birth of Christ in a manger. This is straight from the holy texts…and doesn’t stand for much misinterpretation. But apart from that – almost everything else is so varied…
To begin with contrary to what most of us are taught to believe – Christmas is not the “Birthday of Christ”. In fact both testaments do not have a date to the birth of Christ. In the middle ages, 25th of December was the Winter Solstice (which occurs at the instant when the Sun’s position in the sky is at its greatest angular distance on the other side of the equatorial plane from the observers hemisphere) – or the “start” of the demise of winter. According to some old texts Christ was conceived on the “Spring Equinox” which is March 25th… hence hinting at a date 9 months later. But yes, Christmas remains as the day when the birth of Jesus is honored – but has a larger context as celebration of the “nativity of Christ”.
The modern “Santa Claus” which the children of today associate as the 
primary symbol of Christmas is more or less a creation of 19th century media…the first imagery created by caricaturist Thomas Nast in 1855…as shown on the right. The inspiration behind Santa could be “Saint Nicholas of Myra” – a 4th century Greek Christian bishop in Turkey who was famous for his gifts to the impoverished including handsome “dowries” to the daughters of pious Christians so that they wouldn’t have to become prostitutes. The other, more congruent reference comes from the Germanic God Odin (bearing a distinct resemblance to the current Santa Claus) who traveled on a flying eight-legged horse called “Sleipnir”, came through the chimney and filed up boots left by children with gifts. This was brought to America with the first Dutch settlers in the 17th century – and slowly developed into the christmas traditions we see today. But Santa is not universal. In Northern Europe gifts are brought for children by the “Jultomte” – a house gnome which until recent times did not look anything like Santa. Today, the widely accepted imagery of Santa is being accepted here too – except that in Norway & Sweden he doesn’t come through the chimney but knocks on the front door to ask “Are there any good children here?”.
A lot of the Christmas celebrations and stories you know and see today were popularized by Charles Dickens’ seminal novella.. “A Christmas Carol” which talks about a curmudgeonly miser Ebenezer Scrooge being haunted by three spirits – The Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Yet to Come – and undergoes a transformation to become a generous and kindly man. More than 20 different interpretations have been made of this text, in songs, TV and theater… thus popularizing the modern images of Christmas that we have in our heads today. Even today television stations in many countries show an animated version of “A Christmas Carol” on Christmas Eve, and has become a part of family tradition. But what has today become popular folklore, is seldom looked at as a study of “inequality” and “poverty” in Dicken’s times…which is why he wrote the book!
In Mexico and other Latin American countries Christmas is unrecognizable. 
Even being predominantly heavy catholic countries, there is no Santa Clause, Christmas Trees, Carols or Puddings – and children get their gifts on “The All-Saints Day” or the “The feast of the epiphany” which is January 6th – when the three wise men are believed to have seen Baby Jesus and given him their gifts. January 6th is considered to be a bigger day than Christmas in some countries. Of course, commercialization has brought the tree and other western imagery here also..
The Christmas tree started with an old Germanic pagan tradition of “lighting” up the longest night of the year (21st December) by putting lamps and candles on coniferous tree. Though in later ages, the church opposed the popularization of the Christmas tree because of its pagan roots – it 
eventually merged into mainstream tradition in Western European countries, the British Commonwealth and North America. Many countries around the world still do not have a Christmas Tree as a part of their tradition. Christians in tropical countries, including India, decorate Banana and Coconut trees due to the lack of coniferous trees!
The true giving spirit of Christmas is celebrated in the British Isles (and some other parts of the world) as “Boxing Day”, on the 26th of December…where alms boxes are placed everywhere for people to donate to the needy. Surprisingly (or not) this doesn’t have the widespread acceptance that many other flashy christmas customs have.
Christmas today is much more than just a religious celebration. In most predominantly Christian countries it is the largest Annual economic stimulus. There is a lot of money to be made piggy-backing on the the customs of Christmas. Some economists have calculated something called a “Deadweight Loss”, which is the difference between the price that a gift giver pays and what the gift receiver would have paid if he/she would have bought the gift under normal market conditions. In 2004, the deadweight loss in the US alone was $4 Billion!
I love Christmas. Yesterday we decorated our Christmas tree, put out red and green lights on the balcony and put gifts under the tree… and Dhruv was so excited. But was he excited about the gifts or the concept of Christmas – I don’t know. I believe Christianity is the largest mass movement in the history of the earth… apart from the middle ages when the perpetrators of this movement waged religious wars and killed millions – modern day christianity has brought billions of people together, under one faith. More than any other religion. But in all the razzmatazz and the hype and the money – the true spirit of christianity, the one day to commemorate the birth of this movement, is sometimes forgotten.
There is something about Christmas which is deeper than what many of us see on TV and try to emulate. It is a time for reaffirming our faith in the goodness of humanity, a time to remember joy even on the darkest and coldest winter night, a time to give to the less fortunate and most of all a time to celebrate the birth of the singularly largest and most relevant human movement of all – Jesus Christ. Make sure you teach your children not just that they will get their gifts in their stockings…but what Christmas stands for.
Merry Christmas to all Grimescene Readers. God Bless you all!
November is National Novel Writing Month on WordPress.
It’s quite simple. Just write a 50000 word Novel in the form of daily posts with the tag “Nanowrimo” – by Nov 30th. And I heard there is instant fame and millions for the good ones. (Not really – but this can be good start for a potential career in Novelhood. )
So. I have decided to do it. And of course my readers will be the ultimate judge of how it is coming along. Am already 4 days late…so will have to start today with 2000 words a day. Hope the regulars at Grimescene will help me along with this…
Look forward for the first post later today…;)
Dear Yankee/Gringo/Amriki/Amerikaner/American,
the world is watching you again.
Not with eyes of hatred or fear or envy – but with eyes of hope. In just three weeks, the present and future of six billion humans will be altered by 170 million of their brothers and sisters who are citizens of the most powerful political unit in the world. That includes you.
This is not an endorsement for Mr. McCain or Mr. Obama. I want you to understand that when you decide to spend an hour of your time, and cast your vote – you are contributing to the world in a way that is much larger than just a vote. When you drive down to your local election center and exercise your choice – you are representing the voices, fears and hopes of billions who look upon you to do that right thing. These voices you may never hear with your ears, these billions you may never see with your eyes – but we know you exist. We are aware that you represent a power more real and more potent than any other in the history of humanity. We are not fools to be swayed by the hegemony of your political leaders. We are not afraid of your nuclear arsenal or the fact that you sport more aircraft carriers than the rest of the world combined. We are not devastated when your government makes hasty and misinformed decisions of military action – or when your financial institutions destroy themselves in a tornado of avarice. What devastates us is that you brought that government into power, and that you fueled the greed of men with your insatiable desire for a better life. What scares the bejesus out of us is that you will not spend as much on Christmas gifts as you did last year, or that you will default on your mortgage. Because the true power of America lies in the ka-ching at Walmart, and gallons of fuel you consume. Your true power shows when one of your countrymen donates his time and billions to fight someone else’s war against tyranny or disease. What you do, my dear American friend, affects my life and the lives of billions who haven’t taken the Oath of US citizenship.
Even with all the wars that you have been involved in – America has lead the world in peace. In civil liberty. In racial equality. In the triumph of the individual dream over state. In economic freedom. In technology and what it can achieve. In democracy. Time and again – you have fought your demons with a fierceness and resolve that we admire, and hope to emulate. But was it a government that brought about these changes? Was it a single omnipotent leader? No. It was you, living in a Chicago Suburb, with a station wagon, wife, two kids and Bingo.
We are confident that you will fight the demons facing you today with the same resolve. Because we know that the real power of America is you – because you decide who will be your face to the rest of us. We do not envy you, my dear American. As they say, “Wary lies the head, that wears the crown”. We have no doubt that you wear the crown today. So we look to you to do the right thing and lead the way as a leader should – without prejudice, without being swayed by sloganeering, remarks on lipsticks and pigs, or by the color of someone’s skin.
You, as an American live a privileged life. It is time again for you to earn that privilege and bring about the change we all deserve.
May November 4th be the new Independence Day.
Yours Truly / Your Friend,
A representative of the rest of the world.
From Anderson Cooper’s “Despatches from the edge“:
(On his way to Sri Lanka to cover the effects of the devastating Tsunami.)
“On the plane the flight attendant asks a Sri Lankan passenger if she’s comfortable.
‘I’ve just lost three people in my family,’ the passenger says.
‘Oh, that’s terrible,’ the flight attendant says, pausing for a moment. ‘No duty-free then?’”
******
I woke up this morning with a disturbing scenario playing in my head. Decided to get public opinion on the same. Imagine the following:
You are standing alone at your favorite chai wallah (chai to be substituted with whatever intoxication you prefer on a regular basis), comfortably lost in your thoughts. Someone you know (but not very well), an acquaintance, walks up, looks you in the eye, and tells you “I don’t like you” and walks away.
What would you do?
1) Don’t give a damn. Continue with comfortable thoughts about your impending global dominance (or whatever).
2) You will let the person go…but your garb of comfort would be shaken. You will wonder…for a long time…why doesn’t that person like me? What did I do? Over time you would forget about it.
3) Your entire world would be rocked – and a pandoras box of insecurities and regrets would open up. You will chase the person and not rest until you find out what the hell you did wrong.
4) Other (please elucidate)
BE FRANK.
P.S.: I can imagine a lot of responses which go – “depends on the person“. Just think of a co-worker not in your immediate circle of influence.
While the world sits riveted with the tidal wave of hype created by Hurricane Gustav in New Orleans… three million of our own countrymen/women lie in the throes of despair and neglect. Since the Kosi burst its banks sometime ago – a major portion of northern Bihar has been flooded – and millions of people have been displaced. Entire villages and communities have been washed away…with more than 1 lakh hectares of farming land destroyed. The situation is grave – and the human toll is unknown.
bihar floods
Villages Submerged
Running from the rising waters
You can help.
Goonj, an NGO is collecting old clothes and other necessary items, for the Bihar flood victims. In the organization I work for, they have donation boxes in the cafeteria. Maybe your organization has something similar. If not you can get in touch with them directly and ask them how you can contribute.
Do you have better use for your old clothes?
You can find their contacts at www.goonj.org. There are a couple of direct email ids I found there – you can write to them directly too:
anshu_goonj1@yahoo.co.in
anshugoonj24@gmail.com
You can help…and make good use of your old stuff. 
Deepika Padukone on the front page of Bombay Times:
“Oscars and Olympics are the same to me…”
Is that something you say out loud? Come on girl..
Hear Hear