Archive for August, 2008

27
Aug
08

It’s SHOWTIME!

Observers sitting at a safe distance from the hullabaloo in the US – looking at the Woodstock-Oscars-Democratic Party Convention hybrid, can gloat with self-righteousness and chastise them for the farcical showmanship put up in the name of democracy, change and a new-age leadership. Yes…today was end of day two of the Dem Party Convention at Denver – and though I caught fleeting glimpses on CNN, I ended up doing the same. What a show! Michelle Obama comes to stage as the keynote speaker and “demystifies” that wonder-man who is her husband and possibly the future president of the United States. The crowd is moved to tears – most probably egged on by overeager cameramen. Then their little girls come on stage and one of them says, “I love you Daddy.” And Daddy, with look of pure affection says,”Take care of Mommy, until I am back on Thursday.” Thus securing a million more votes belonging to starry-eyed Americans desperately clinging on to some notion of the perfect American family life. And all this broadcast live and emotional to the entire world…as if saying…you Arabs, while you send your children to Madrasas and teach them to hate and kill – here we are living our perfect technicolour lives. Guess who is the loser here. Bring on the butter popcorn, dr.pepper and beef jerky – Las Vegas be damned…the world’s largest show has begun.

But, don’t gloat. Indians are no different. We are all suckers for larger-than-life… because our current lives are too small and boring for us. We are so overwhelmed by the glitz and the glamour that we get confused between Gods and men. Between actors and leaders.

Yesterday, Telugu superstar Chiranjeevi launched ‘Praja Rajyam’ (people’s rule) – the latest political party which claims to fill a gaping hole in the overcrowded Indian political landscape. This happened in Tirupati…and apparently the crowd went wild with emotion when they saw him descending down the steps of the temple. In slow motion no doubt. He says that it would be a “secular…pro-poor party.” Now which hole is it filling, exactly? It’s like Coke distinguishing itself as the only carbonated sweet drink.

Monotone political dogmas aside…what sickens is the Beatles-like mania that just the sight of him created. (At least the Beatles didn’t claim to change the world!) Standing in front of one of the most cherished of Hindu temples – thousands of people were screaming “Jai Chiranjeeva”. Eh? Has he suddenly the same status as Tirumalai?

You know what? Let me be the devil’s advocate…maybe Chiranjeevi really wants to create change. He suddenly realized that he is like God to millions of people – and unhappy with the state of his fan-base, he decided to do something about it. (Sounds unbelievable I know…but lets just assume) What change do you think he can bring? The state of the country today is a complex interplay of historical, current, parochial and global factors… what will a muscleman-actor do other than provide sufficient distraction to the poor – so that they can stare at the stars in wonder, and forget about their hunger and nakedness? Will he be a person large enough not to become larger than himself – and actually become a servant of the people he has sworn to serve?

Politicians today take oaths of stardom than servitude. Because somehow there is this impression that people will only follow the stars…in the star lies the leader. It’s sad because this has rendered a huge section of the population (which includes me, and I am sure majority of my readers) apathetic and cynical. This country (and probably most of the democratic world) lies divided…and one day we will fall.

25
Aug
08

I wish

Those Eyes

I wish I could lose myself in your eyes forever.

I wish I could be a seive of all that those eyes can see…just the residue would bring me all the joy in the world.

I wish I could create the most beautous picture in the world with a brush fashioned from those lashes… it would be a picture of you.

I wish to build a new world of candy, chocolate and Doraemon-masks – so that it will be a world that will only make you smile.

I wish I could ensconce your naughty innocence in my own tired eyes and shelter it from the harsh world that you live in.

I wish I could peek into that pure heart of yours – just to see how it manages to jump with joy and laughter at the drop of a hat.

I wish I could capture you forever in me – but still set you free to make your own choices, live your own dreams and create your own beautiful world – which is as pure, gentle and beautiful as you.

I wish I could lose myself in your eyes forever.

Forever Smitten – your papa…

22
Aug
08

An old English Lamp-post

…with a CFL inside.:) Clicked in Programme Mode – with Flash Turned off. The built in Image Stabilization within the camera ensured that amateurs like me did not screw up the snap with shaky hands… ;)

And old English lampost...

22
Aug
08

Eh?

Deepika Padukone on the front page of Bombay Times:

“Oscars and Olympics are the same to me…”

Is that something you say out loud? Come on girl..

21
Aug
08

Tête-à-tête with Steve Jibes

Dressed in a black T-shirt and blue jeans, I was rushing through the busy Andheri market in a daze – when I saw a bearded gentleman in the exact same attire digging into a plate of greasy Ragda-Pattice. Considering I wasn’t exactly dressed in a Rohit Bal creation with exotic seam work and colors outside the gamut of the human eye – I wasn’t nearly as embarrassed as the Shetty sisters when they arrived at an awards function wearing the same red mini-skirt. How drool…sorry, droll. But still – something about the man struck me as familiar. So I turned to look at him as I passed by. He saw me looking at him, stuffing his face with fingers dripping with red oil and “imli-sauce” and realizing his attempts at anonymity were failing…he immediately tilted the plate up to hide his face. Unfortunately the circular cakes of delight did not defy gravity – and rolled down his black T-shirt and jeans…creating, well – as you imagine – a complete mess. He blurted, “Oh F***!” – in a distinct American accent…and then I realized who he was.

“Mr.Steve Jibes?” I asked. He looked up at me with patties all over his face and clothes – and tried to smile.

“I guess, my cover is blown…” said the founder of the Mac and Chief Perpetrator of the iPhone.

I looked at the mess he’d created…and said “Yeah, you can say that! Didn’t know you were into street food!”

Jibes: “Just trying to get a taste of Indian street culture… after all this is the next big market for the greatest product that mankind has ever seen! And (licking his soiled fingers disgustingly) these Potato Cakes can really kick Fillet Mignon’s ass! Now I know why you guys eat so much and create all that food shortage! Damn! These are good…”
Grimescene: “They are called Ragda Pattice. Anyway…I assume you are talking about the iPhone which will be launched this Friday…”
Jibes (lifting a couple of morsels from his T-shirt and putting them back into his mouth):”Yeah! Isn’t it great that we don’t believe your country is Third World and that you too deserve to enjoy the best technology from the USofA…”
Grimescene: “But, you have priced it at $800 for the base model! Who do you think will buy it?”
Jibes: “Oh – you underestimate the brand value of an Apple product. We have been over-pricing our products for the past 20 years…and successfully – I might add.”
Grimescene: “But still – it costs $199 in the US! It is 4 times the price in India…don’t you think you are fleecing us?”
Jibes: “Look…let me get something straight… that $199 is just a Marketing thing ok? Did you know that the poor suckers who buy it will have to shell out $240 for an annual contract with AT&T – on the spot? In effect the annual ownership of an iPhone just went up by $40… smart eh? That’s why we rock dude…” (And he raised his oily hands for a high-five which I tactfully ignored.)
Grimescene: “But still that makes it twice the price here…and you still have a 2 MP camera without flash or video recording. The iPhone still isn’t MMS ready. The software keyboard frankly sucks. No stereo Bluetooth. No Instant Messenger…no cut-and-paste… sir, my Rs.8K Nokia has all that and more.”
Jibes: “I have two words for you…Three and G. Dude, you will be surfing at Space Shuttle speeds, even while sitting in one of your crummy buses…”
Grimescene: “I don’t remember the last time I got to sit in one of our crummy buses…but that’s beside the point. Last I heard 3G networks are still quite a way off in this country… did you check that before you decided to use the Indian market as your retirement fund?”
Jibes (now looking around for an escape route): “Lets not get nasty here… let me explain why we have priced the iPhone so high here… just for your ears, considering you look murderous right now.”
Grimescene: “I am all ears.”
Jibes (in hushed tones): “You know about all those near-stampedes that the launches in the US created? They were bad enough…with people lining for days outside the stores and all. Don’t get me wrong…all good for business – but you know, someone can get hurt. Bad PR. Now…can you imagine what kind of response we would have got for our sexy product in India, if we priced it competitively? Man – it would be pandemonium. Someone will get hurt! Your cities are already so chaotic…we didn’t want to add to it. So – the high price.” (and he winked knowingly.)
Grimescene: “Oh, I see… and it is not because India has one of the fastest growing upwardly-mobile populations in the world – and you want to make a quick buck while the hype lasts?”
Jibes (with a poorly rendered look of shock): “Now now…whatever made you think that?!!”
Grimescene: “Then I wish you luck Mr.Jibes. Just so that you know – I don’t believe a word you say – and I think your product has more style than substance. We may be an upwardly mobile and brand conscious people – but we are not dumb. We can see through your charade. I think I will stick to my Nokia. Meanwhile – what the heck are you doing in the back-alleys of Andheri?!”
Jibes (in tones even hushed further): “Someone told me you get cheap “unlocked” iPhones here…so getting one for the wife…you understand…”
Grimescene: “Yes I do Mr.Jibes. I wish you a good day – and I hope you have a good trip back to your private island…”
***
This piece is a work of fiction and the characters and situations described are purely fictitious. Any resemblances with real characters are purely coincidental.

Update: I found a better commentary on this Apple pie. http://krishashok.wordpress.com/2008/07/27/kaka-kronicles-episode-8/ – Thanks Abha…

20
Aug
08

In the clouds

The grimy header has changed…and I am sure to the pleasure of a few of my readers. It was inevitable. I saw time at its truant best. Was it because I walked into a cloud? Was it because of the condensation on my spectacles – which altered my city-bred vision? Was it because I was distracted by the sound of my own heartbeat thumping in my ears? Was it because my senses were confused with the moss-dew-lily-cloud fragrance that upstaged my Parisian cologne? Was it because my ears were straining to catch the tales from far away which arrived perched on top of a vagrant cloud? Was it because I experienced this descending heaven through the eyes of my angel? Whatever it was – I saw time like never before. My concept of time was one of tired seconds ticking tick-tock-tick in tandem with the mechanical ruminations of a local train. Or the minutes spent in waiting for a red light to turn green. Or hours passing with the irritating precision of pre-decided weekly conference calls which more often than not left me none the wiser.

Kasmanda Palace shattered my thusfar comfortable relationship with time. Here the seconds travelled in reverse - as I strode through a manicured garden from the times of the Raj… the minutes flew by with the speed of cavorting swallows and the fluidity of Ruskin Bond’s tales…the hours, well, all but disappeared as my “civilized” disposition was found terribly wanting when trying to make sense of the raw splendor of natural beauty that lay before me, in the “Queen of the hills”. As the more observant (and patient) readers would have guessed – Dee and I just returned from a momentous trip up in the clouds of Mussoorie. I could write a detailed travelogue with the faint hope that I would capture all that I felt within the time-proof confines of this blog…but that’s just not possible without understating and in the process doing a great amount of disservice to the feeling itself. No…this time I would rather let the pictures speak. Hope you like them…click on the images to see wallpaper size. (If they are not loading it is because your firewall blocks Flickr.)

1) Kasmanda Palace – Mussoorie.

Kasmanda_spires.jpg

2) The reception at Kasmanda…old world charm…

a_cosy_reception.jpg

3) The maple tree above our room…

world_thru_maple.jpg

4) No wonder the English loved this place…

more from kasmanda

5) Corridors of the Raj…

more from kasmanda

6) Tea garden of Eden…

more from kasmanda

7) Trying to hide in the clouds…

more from kasmanda

8 ) One tree hill…

more from kasmanda

9) Waiting to pounce on you…only not…

more from kasmanda

10) Blood or dew?

more from kasmanda

11) Gates to heaven…at “Laal Tibba” above Landour… (this is where the Bond goes for walks)

more from kasmanda

12) We weren’t the only ones interested in the flora…

more from kasmanda

***
All images copyright Dee or me. Clicked by absolute amateurs with an absolutely amazing piece of photographic equipment. The Olympus E-520 is a marvel. Hope I can learn how to use it one day…;).

Special thanks to Ruskin Bond for inviting us mortals into his humble home and regaling us with exclusive stories. We will never forget those 40 minutes (or was it seconds?). All said and done it was a beautiful trip – which ended with a scrumptious dinner hosted by the vivacious Mad Momma and her delightful hubby, and shelter provided by Sammy-boy…a perfect end to a perfect trip.

11
Aug
08

The marketplace of the future

This morning, I was standing at one of the windows in my office, sipping a cup of horribly sweet tea, looking at the rain and not thinking. I have realized that my best thoughts pop up when I am not thinking! (Try explaining that!) Through the rain – I could see a “Paperwallah” wearing a cheap black raincoat (branded DNA) desperately trying to ensure that copies of TOI (so much for the free raincoat!) were kept away from the precipitation. I looked at the raincoat…and thought about what all would have gone into procuring that raincoat for the thousands of paperwallahs in Mumbai. Some guy in DNA marketing would have contacted some supplier of giveaways – who would have connected to some stockist of raincoats – who would have talked to his supplier in Karjat – who would then give the order to some company in Pune – who would then get it made by a sweatshop in Tirupur… you get the drift. Imagine this:

DNA (Demand)  -                Middlemen (1,2,3,n)                 – Sweatshop(Supply)

How many degrees of separation are there between demand and supply? And each separation point adds to the price…and loss of control for the buyer. Internet spelled doom for the Middlemen…with platforms bringing buyers and sellers together…with the only middleman being the platform. Thus e-commerce was born… but the other day I bought a Nokia Bluetooth handset from Indiatimes Shopping – who were not the direct seller. The seller was some guy on Lamington road, who procured it from some importer in Chennai. God knows where they got it from… because the product I got was faulty – and no one claimed responsibility for it. Indiatimes pushed it to Lamington road who is yet to hear from Chennai. Who loses? The buyer and the manufacturer. I don’t think I will ever buy a Nokia headset again. The Supply Chain  automatically stretches to fill in any available space…and there are millions of businesses and individuals who have made a killing from just being able to connect supply and demand.

Where can things be improved? Dell did it on the supply side by their now famous online sales model. There is a problem with that approach as Dell realized recently… online sales are not good for impulsive buys. You walk into a showroom and you see a beautiful machine you don’t need…but you fall in love with the demo and buy it anyway. Dell missed that opportunity and today has started selling products through the usual channels also. Also middlemen add that bit of “marketing” that is so critical to selling products – something direct online sales find hard to replicate.

Now I suggest a different way – nothing new, has been done by various people already, but not really been replicated massively. Move the marketing and sales to the demand side. Avon – and your peer recommendation models work like this. Now imagine – the world of bloggers, taking on the marketing and sales of a product. Eg. Nokia contacts me – I put up on my blog “Product of the day – Nokia handset BH400″ – at a special manufacturer price which is 20% less than markup price at indiatimes or the Mobile Store. Now why would I do that? Because Nokia gives me a free piece to test and review…. and…to add a bit of zest in the proceedings, Nokia tells me that I get further 5% off for every successful transaction that goes through from my blog. This solves the marketing problem…because (for the sake of my hypothesis) I am a respected reviewer and my community believes in me – and because I get 5% off on every transaction – I will atleast give a decent review. Will I become a sleazy middleman then? No…because my personal reputation (like for any blogger) is important. A bad product will be reviewed as it is… My blog gets 100 hits a day…and more bloggers like me can reach a potential marketplace of millions.

The big companies have twiddled with various concepts of peer-to-peer marketing – but end up creating just another supply chain. My argument is that it doesn’t have to be a supply chain but a supply “grid” if you will. That is the marketplace of the future… and I am sure that some guy reading this will find a business idea to create a “middleman” organization who would enable this. ;)

And all this because of that DNA raincoat. All those MBAs out there (and the non-MBAs) are welcome to comment and critique…

11
Aug
08

About time – India’s first Olympic Gold in 2008

A big moment for all Indians. And about time too…;) Abhinav Bindra has won India’s first individual gold medal (the first ever – the others were team golds) – in the 10m Air Rifle event. I hope the nation now stops obsessing over Sania Mirza.

Thanks Vamsi for the breaking news.

You can read the whole item here:

http://www.breakingnewsonline.net/2008/08/abhinav-bindra-wins-first-ever.html

Edited: Guess what? Abhinav Bindra has a blog! ;) But this particular news item is not on there yet…guess he is busy partying. But I will stay tuned – his perspective on how it felt.

Meanwhile – people are pouring in their wishes at this place http://abhinavbindra.blogspot.com/2008/08/we-are-now-welcomedofficially.html . …and maybe you should too…

07
Aug
08

The Pink House!

Looks like the internet has become the frontline in the war for the US presidency.

Remember, I talked about the McCain campaign ad where Obama was compared to Britney and Paris? Well – what can I say except the fact that what goes around comes around. ;)

This is the original ad.

Notice how McCain is specifically highlighting on Obama’s immaturity in saying no to offshore drilling. Now FunnyOrDie.com paid Paris Hilton to do a rebuttal.

“I am not old and I don’t want to bring change…I am just hot!” She purrs. Worth a look. And she wants to paint the white house PINK – and wants Rihanna as her running mate! Hilarious. And she uses words I am sure she doesn’t understand.

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/64ad536a6d

;)

05
Aug
08

Recognition on Blogs of the day

Grimescene was mentioned by the WordPress team as one of the “growing blogs” on WordPress. ;) Thank you readers!

http://botd.wordpress.com/2008/07/26/growing-blogs-820/




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